Fire Escape

We found a 70-year-old retired auto worker in West Virginia who referred to this as "hippie bullcrap," so maybe the place is still salvageable.

Tank Top

One for the Western so-called socialists who keep defending China's authoritarianism. Just imagine that the back has a pair of crossed QBZ-95s and says "I RESPECT THE POLICE, STAND FOR THE FLAG, AND UPHOLD XI JINPING THOUGHT. DOES THAT OFFEND YOU, SNOWFLAKE?"

Fight or Flight

Can you believe those pesky Hong Kong protesters ruined so many travel plans just to make sure China can't kidnap people from the airport? So entitled.

Ready Player One

Maybe he's just having a heated gaming Presidency.

Indirect Fire

No, Republicans, you don't get to pretend to be shocked by this.

Fairness Doctrine

If you're a leftist, and you find yourself celebrating corporate censorship and even calling for more, it might be time to take a little break from the internet before it messes with your head any further.